Functional Medicine R.D in fertility & Prenatal Health
I was living in New Zealand at the time.
I was asked to reach out to a first time mom in Australia about a few pregnancy questions as she was clearly adamant to have the type of birth she was preparing for.
I reached out to Dee , little knowing that I WOULD actually be in Australia by her due date. I was excited to help Dee prepare for birth and see her journey into motherhood. She was well prepared. knew her options. knew her hypnobirthing mantras and knew that she would handle her birth as a spiritual journey. .
Dee and Kayne's story became yet another reminder that birth is a road of surrender. We prepare for the things we know to prepare for....but the story of birth usually teaches us that there are some things you could never have imagined to prepare for.
"MORE THAN WHAT I BARGAINED FOR!
So here’s my story. I was blessed enough to be referred to Yolandi through a mutual friend, she made the 3 hour trip down to meet my partner Kayne and I a few weeks before I was due. During that meeting we instantly knew we had connected with the right person.
We had planned a calm hypnobirth from very early on in our pregnancy, we felt it was important to bring our baby girl into the world in a peaceful environment.
Due to some previous blood clots I was considered a high risk pregnancy,
and I was given blood thinning injections and monitored very closely from the beginning. I would consider the pregnancy itself fairly trouble free....although the doctors would say otherwise.
Our ideal birth would have been a home birth but due to my special considerations this wasn’t possible so getting a doula was the next best thing.
Throughout the pregnancy the doctors were pushing for induction due to my high risk status, this was declined on more occasions than I can remember but it still kept coming up at every turn, it was great having Yolandi there to de-brief each time and ask questions to. Kayne and I strongly believed that our girl would come when she was ready and we didn’t want to force her to come, there were many heated conversations about this at our appointments.
My due date came and went and nothing eventuated! I had been practicing religiously every day all my calm birthing techniques and meditations...I thought I was ready! On the day of my labour the universe had other ideas than a calm hypnobirthing experience that’s for sure.
We spent the morning out and about and then went home to see my mum who had travelled 5 hours to await the arrival of little miss.
Later that day we received a shocking phone call that I will never forget. My dad had called to let Kayne know that my younger brother...my only brother, had taken his own life and he left it up to Kayne whether to let me know or not. He decided I should know and had to break the news to me knowing I was ready to give birth at any minute. That’s how my labour began.
I sent Yolandi a message at 732pm saying I had some pains but I wasn’t sure if it was labour (they were very bearable). She said to let her know how it progresses before I go to sleep so she can decide what time to leave in the morning.
Kayne and I went out to get everyone some dinner since no one had eaten after bearing the news of my brother's death. On the way home I thought I’d do the contractions APP just in case, straight away it said "GO TO HOSPITAL"l....that was about 830pm and my contractions were 4mins apart lasting for 1min.
We quickly packed our stuff in the car and headed to the hospital, things progressed extremely quickly from there, we didn’t have time to think, we were emotionally, spiritually and physically tired so just went with the flow.
My labour was super quick, with an active labour of 2hrs and 20mins and I ended up having an epidural and needing forceps as our baby was in distress. Although I was planning a hypnobirth given everything that was thrown my way I was so glad that our bub came out safely.
My one wish was that she didn’t arrive on the same day as my brother passing away....thankfully she arrived at 1.21am the following morning. I have a feeling that my mind played a huge part in that...as soon as Kayne let me know it was past midnight things happened!
Suffice to say Yolandi didn’t make it to the hospital for the birth, I don’t think anyone could have...we may need a live in doula for the next one! However, she was an endless support throughout my pregnancy and after supporting me mentally as I processed the loss of my brother. She was extremely supportive and understanding of my needs and I would love to recommend her to anyone who will listen.
Welcome to the world Amara Jay...her middle name is named after my brother John (known by many as Jae). Born 4th November 2018, she has such a healing little soul, I am truely blessed she chose me as her mum!"
My take was that this baddass lady was spiritually prepared for birth. Not for death. And watching her surrender to every unexpected step has tuaght me so much. I loved seeing this couple's strenght and "love conquers all" way of living. Thank you for having me in this roadtrip :)
"The way we live influences the way we give birth"